New Beginnings – Hope That Triumphed

“ A normal conversation wasn’t possible, not in my house.   There were three of us deeply wounded from the fights we had with one another ....the way we spoke and hurt each other” This is a line from a book called “

A Little Coreography of Goodbye” by the Brazilian writer Aline Bei. However it could easily be spoken by Maria Rafaela who is now 23 years old. Her family relationships gave her a childhood that she never thought sh’d experience and today  she tells us “ My relationship with my Father was always dreadful, he used to beat me, and once he even held a knife to me. At 14 I sought out a refuge house so that I didn’t have to live with him anymore. My Mum lived in Goiana (a city in the interior of Pernambuco)  and at times I lived with her, but then I would go back to my Father’s house in Recife.”

When she was 15 this young girl got pregnant with a little girl and had to tell her father.  Her daughter Lorena was born healthy and brought her Mum a new lease of life and hope for the future. When she was 6 months old Lorena was hospitalised  and her Grandfather was aggressive again towards her Mother. Rafaela remembers “We were just about to be discharged when me Father tried to assault me just like he always did but the hospital security protected me and referred me to the hospital social assistant.  When Lorena was discharged she then accompanied me to the Mums and Babies home I was referred to. I didn’t even know such places existed and really thought that my daughter and I were going to be separated”

The Mums and Babies home in question was supported by Happy Child International and Lorena and I stayed there for 18 months.  Here Rafaela managed to return to her studies and started an apprenticeship. The money that she earned from this work slowly enabled her to live without depending on the  Mums and Babies home for support. 

More importantly, she remembers with a smile, she was able to build up a network of good support.  The first night in the home Rafaela reports “I cried alot and in the middle of the night I heard Lorena crying too. When I reached her cot one of the night carers was there.  She told me not to worry, to go back to bed and that she would take care of my baby. I felt so relieved.  I’ll never forget that moment”. 

She also reminisced that “As I was such a young Mum the Courts had to  evaluate whether or not I’d got the capacity to keep my baby or whether it was necessary to put her into care. If it hadn’t been for the support of indiviudals on the staff team at the time such as Emir (the social assistant), Cynthia (the Psychologist), Delza (the Home Co ordinator) and Milca (one of the Educators) I would have lost the right to parent my daughter and she would have been taken away from me. They gave me enormous support at that time. 

The Strength of One Who Endures, the Care of Those Who Shelter

With resilience and grit Rafaela moved out.  Since that time she has built herself  a new life and family.   Lorena is now 8 years old and lives with her Mum and step Father.  Rafaela says.  “it wasn’t at all easy, I had to fight not to repeat the experiences I went through as a child.  My husband today has been a marvellous Father to my daughter.  He has helped me a lot.  Milca, one of the Happy Child carers, has been like a mother to me over all these years. She still supports me even today. She has always told me that she will stick by my side”.  

The dedication in the above mentioned book says “For all those who are searching for a place to call home, especially for those who are desperately seeeking such a home”   The Mums and Babies home became that home for Rafaela and the one she was so desperately seeking. She was bold in life, reframed the meaning of her pain, cut off past ties, grasped the opportunity to live a new life, took the pen of life and wrote a new story.

• Written by Eduarda Teixeira